The Big Secret of Dealing With People

July 4, 2013

Dale Carnegie knew that there is only one way to get anybody to do anything, and that is by making the other person want to do it.

Of course, you can make someone want to give you his watch by sticking a gun in his ribs, or make employees give you cooperation—at least until your back is turned—by threatening to fire them. Or you can make a child do what you with the use of threats. But these crude methods have sharply undesirable repercussions.

In his book, “How to Develop Self Confidence & Influence People by Public Speaking,” Carnegie quotes Sigmund Freud who said that, “Everything you and I do springs from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great.”

Abraham Lincoln once began a letter saying: “Everybody likes a compliment.” William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” Notice he didn’t say “wish,” “desire,” or “longing” to be appreciated. He said the “craving” to be appreciated.

Emerson said: “Every man that I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn from him.”

And finally, here is a quote from an unknown source that Dale Carnegie cut out and pasted on his mirror, where he couldn’t help but see it every day: “I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer not neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

We should all take a moment to appreciate those around us that we might too often take for granted. Because remember—you may not pass this way again.

Here’s an example of this principle in action from your friends at Dale Carnegie Training of the Northwest:

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